Did you hear last news about world's problem?Scientist say 'There is a big problem for all world'
This problem's name is 'Global Warming'.People are getting more and more anxious.There are 3 effects.
The first effect is sea levels will increase.If global warming continues with same fast, glaciers will melt.So sea levels will increase and some countries will be under water.
Second one is some animals will diseppeare.Some animals like water but some animals don't.When sea levels will increase some animal's population won't adapted new world and their population will diseppeare.
Thirdly,there will be a lot of wars in future for water.Because water will be more important than others in world.People who will lack of water, have war for water.
As a result,if sea levels will increase if some animals will diseppeare,if wars will increase day by day in future global warming will continue until finish the world.
your introduction seems ok, but it can be better.
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your thesis is not very well constructed. you should mention your topic in your thesis.
there are three effects of global warming.
your topic sentences are ok, but you should explain them in detail. you can give examples, give statistics or quotations.
why will sea levels increase and what will happen when it increases?
will animal species die only because of the rise in sea levels? what about changes in climate? weather conditions?
why will countries have wars for water? why will it be more important?
try to tell more.
your conclusion has also some problems and it is too short.
your enterance is good but this essay is short isn't it? but it is good example for us for writing essay.
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